One of the worst changes that social media and the Internet has permanently ruined is the interactions between us when it comes to love, romance, and dating. If it’s 2016 and you’re already deeply committed or married, well, God bless you because chances are you’re already out of the wasteland of having to watch your back for the usually-inevitable knife in it the rest of us have to endure. Much like everything else that used to involve social interaction and now doesn’t thanks to the Internet micro managing humanity, dating has gone the same way as everything else in the world. Click. Click. Click.
For starters, people don’t seem to meet people or seem to talk to people in public. In fact, it seems the only people who are ever out are people already *in* relationships. So chances are you’re going to be stuck in the miserable quasi-dating-pool that is Tinder, or any myriad of Tinder-like apps. This is the worst – for women, they swipe liberally because there are way more desperate men than there are desperate women. Then they wonder why they get matches who can’t form coherent sentences or like to spam dick pics.
If you’re an average guy of average looks, average size, average intelligence, and average carpentry skills, you’re lucky if you average one match per quarter. And then you’re lucky if you don’t get ghosted where they just stop texting you, benched, where they keep making plans that they have no intention of keeping or anything else – the problem is that automatically dating is based on a lack of attention span and a “someone or something better might come along.” And that might have been true before the Internet, but dating wasn’t this “instant toast” sort of deal. I dare say, men have it a lot worse in today’s dating pool. Girls seem to have options in the thousands, and I have a few female friends that brag about how much dick they are sucking on Tinder like that’s supposed to impress anyone (spoiler alert: you’re a hoe). Meanwhile every guy I know on Tinder is taking a daily jab to the nutsac at their own self confidence as they find that women these days have higher and higher and higher standards due to their heads being in the clouds because of how much ass kissing they receive on the Internet by the men desperate enough to pander to them. All of this is a fucking mess and probably the reason why I almost never like a woman’s photos on social media – ladies, you really don’t need the ego boost. Most of you are NOT all that like you think you are.
I was fortunate enough to be born and raised in the 1980s when people actually had to call each other on the phone, when there was no such thing as caller ID and call waiting and when there was more of an importance on ACTUALLY SEEING PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. I wasn’t dating in the 1980s but I saw other people do it, and the concept of “in person” seems like it’s so foreign to people now. Even when the Internet first became a thing, it wasn’t so bad because you had to go home on an actual computer to use it, instead of have an immediate connection to everyone and everything 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
The problem with the Internet being widely, readily, easily accessible is it’s made people expendable, and people place no value on you because the minute you have a slight disagreement, or fight, or whatever, if you’re a guy there might be about half of a person probably wanting to talk to you, and if you’re a woman there’s about 500 guys that would love to fuck you. Simultaneously, like when all the crazy guys fucked Freddy Kruger’s mother.
Facebook has become a giant soap box of people’s stupid problems. Everyone makes their beef public; everyone makes their issues known. We change relationship statuses in real time. Some people change them every few days. We see people fight and we see other people kiss their ass the immediate second they can do so to try to be the next person in the Cold Cut Line for some fresh meat. Everyone is like a bad episode of a reality television show thanks to social media, and there’s the really nasty part of the whole thing: Facebook has made it a lot worse.
And you can’t just NOT AGREE with people to begin with – which I covered in my article about Social Media Being Retarded. But it’s ten times WORSE if it’s someone you have romantic interest in. Now if you two don’t agree on a television show or a political candidate or ANY subject, automatically one person is looking at replacing the other. Is that REALLY a big deal? I’d like to think I’m nice and uncomplicated: don’t lie to me. Don’t cheat on me. And pay some fucking attention to me. But again, social media displays its ability to be a cancer on the minds, hearts, and souls of people that serves no purpose other than to bring out the worst in us.
There is NOTHING more irritating than sending someone a message or calling them… and they show up on Facebook like five minutes later and didn’t talk to or reply to you or don’t seem to give a remote shit about what you have to say. Especially if they seemed more interested before – the problem with that is, Facebook is once again, instant access to about 1000 other people and it makes you feel abandoned. While I don’t recommend looking at people’s online/offline statuses when you’re dating them, it’s practically impossible not to notice when you care about someone and it will drive you INSANE. It will make you feel like absolute shit. The root of most all evil is Facebook, both in fabricating paranoia, and also giving people immediate access to everyone else including your potential and possible replacement should you screw up. Also, for the record, Facebook will mark a message as seen whether you’ve “seen” a message or not. I’ve tested this theory with several accounts. Do not trust Facebook. Facebook WANTS your relationship to suffer, people.
And the worst part is we’re so trained to look and think negatively THANKS to social media, and THANKS to the things our friends and peers have gone through, you can’t go to anyone for advice because their first reply is “get rid of them, go onto the next one.” That’s bullshit! Here’s a thought – how about we quit having “back up plans” and put some focus on the current relationships we are in? Just a thought. But on the same token, maybe people wouldn't be quick to dispose of one another if we ALL tried to do a little bit better.
So… how do you cure the disease that is caused by social media when it comes to your significant other treating you like a “not-so-significant other?” How do you stay the ONE they want? How do you keep their attention or their love? Can you keep their love in a world what has conditioned people to believe that everyone is expendable, and that everyone is replaceable when so few people have their eyes open? The pessimist in me says that “you can’t” and that society is “too far gone” and you have to keep your fingers crossed that the person’s feelings for you supersedes the need for attention from “Random Asshole #46 on Facebook or Instagram.” But I’d like to think all it takes is a word that people are absolutely afraid of in this day and age: EFFORT.
If you want someone in your life, show them “effort.” Show them they’re more important to you than your social media. Call a person instead of texting them, hang out with them in real life instead of either of those things. You need to show a person they matter to you more than a follower count on social media. You need to maybe put a little less priority on liking people’s shitty photos on Facebook and more priority on keeping the person in your life actually there because the longer you go keeping the person you supposedly care about at arm’s length, the worse and more troubling the Internet begins to look and the more easily whatever you have with anyone is headed towards certain disaster. You can only defeat the Internet with a heavy dose of reality and an even heavier dose of effort and that’s the only way to turn back the threat of Digital Distance and Disposal. The only reason romance is dead in 2016, is because you killed it by thinking a stupid little screen in your pocket is more important, and you have only yourself to blame. And its only ourselves who can fix or change that.