A few weeks ago, a woman named Candace Payne somehow went viral on Facebook for buying a Chewbacca mask, putting it on, and laughing about how she looked. The video somehow received almost 58 million views, and became the most viral Facebook video in the site’s history since live broadcasting became a feature. I refuse to link the video here. I refuse to contribute to the spread of it in that fashion.
I had it turn up on my own timeline and questioned how/why this was on my timeline. Who shared this? Why? I didn’t laugh, I just simply didn’t get the joke. Maybe you had to be high as fuck in order to crack up about it, I don’t know. I found the whole thing a little, well, retarded.
Yet somehow, not only did Chewbacca Mom (as she is now known) get 58 million views on Facebook but somehow since then has gotten to meet Stan Lee, to have MORE videos with masks somehow, gotten her own Hasbro Star Wars commemorative action figure about $500,000, including scholarships to college for her and her whole family, has gotten to tour Facebook HQ, has gotten to meet Stan Lee, and now even charges for autographs. What kind of idiot wants Chewbacca Mom’s autograph? I’d like to know so I know what type of people I don’t want to ever become friends with. I think the worst part is that at the rate Chewbacca Mom is going it’s only a matter of time before Vivid offers her a contract to star in her own pornographic video where she has sex with the stupid mask on.
What is so loathsome to me about the whole thing is how this person has become some kind of celebrity over something so… dumb. It’s ridiculous we give $500,000 in college scholarship money to someone for this; there are people dying of cancer with GoFundMe accounts to make sure their kid gets to go to school… that maybe get like $200-300 at most? There are people who probably needed the damn money way more than Chewbacca Mom, and there are people who probably deserve it way more than Chewbacca Mom. Sadly, we live in a society with so few original ideas, that we’re getting like the movie Idioicracy so somehow a woman putting on a Chewbacca mask and laughing is the epitome of entertainment. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Is it ever going to stop?
Probably no time soon. Viral videos like this are exactly that – a virus killing the brain cells. I think what amazes me is the pretentiousness of the whole thing such as charging for autographs and getting free tickets to Comic Book conventions and getting to meet all these Sci-Fi personalities. She probably doesn’t give a fuck about any of this yet somehow we’re putting her on a pedestal like she’s saved the earth from Outer Space Aliens or cured AIDS, or immaculately birthed Jesus Christ from her vagina.
Hey, while we’re at it since we’re mindlessly worshipping her for putting on a mask and laughing about it, we should let Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump fight each other over who gets her as their VP, maybe give her a Nobel Prize, and maybe her own reality show where she wears the stupid mask all the time. And sadly, as much as I wish I were joking, that stuff is probably likely to happen in our stupid society. Chewbacca Mom Knows Best would make Chrisley Knows Best seem like great television, wouldn’t it?
I mean hey, we gave Angry Birds and Tetris their own movies, and people seem to think Minions is entertaining. We’ve already gone full retard at this point anyway, right? What’s one more stupid thing to add to the list? And speaking of movies in all honesty if I wanted to see a fat annoying unfunny woman with a stupid laugh I would subject myself to Melissa McCarthy who is one of the stars of the new, upcoming, and judging by the trailers, not-funny-at-all Ghostbusters reboot coming out later this year.
Disgusting. You’re all disgusting.