From the Archives: A Review of Mortal Kombat: Special Forces on Playstation!

This week, Netherrealm Studios released Mortal Kombat X, and while it is arguably the best game the series has ever produced I felt it was a good time to go into the JasonRivera.com archives and bring back my review of one of the WORST games Netherrealm (then a part of Midway) had ever produced:  the atrocious "Mortal Kombat: Special Forces."

Having never played this game upon it’s release for the fact that you can take one look at Jax and his new porno mustache on the cover and tell that the game sucks, I am amazed that anything in the Mortal Kombat universe could actually be WORSE than Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero. My time spent with Mortal Kombat Special Forces is like being imprisoned and waiting to make bail.

MK:SF is yet another prequel, this time to Mortal Kombat II, in which Jax Briggs pursues Kano and his Black Dragon clan, however, the story of MK:SF suggests a heated rivalry and hatred between the two. Unfortunately for Midway, this never really happened because SONYA replaced JAX when the first released the original Mortal Kombat. In fans eyes it’s Sonya who has the bigger rivalry with Kano. I won’t even get into the fact Jax Briggs isn’t supposed to have metal arms until Mortal Kombat 3. Many of the mistakes in consistency with this game are accredited to the fact John Tobias, ko-kreator of the Mortal Kombat franchise left Midway in the middle of development. I say they should have just cancelled this shit.

Jax doin’ what a black man does best. Not doin’ SHIT, nigga!

Jax doin’ what a black man does best. Not doin’ SHIT, nigga!

But since they didn’t, here I am, and here you are, reading my article, and wanting to know what makes this game so bad. There’s so much wrong with it I really don’t know WHERE to begin. Well I already touched on part of the story, and there’s already a myriad of inconsistencies with the rest of the series to begin with.

 

Kano and his band of John Tobias’ failed abortions.

Kano and his band of John Tobias’ failed abortions.

Unlike it’s gaiden-predecessor, MKM:SZ, MK:SF is a 3D environment with full-on eight-direction running and all that jazz. You take the role of Mortal Kombat II’s Jax Briggs, who is given a generic steteotypial racist caricature black man personality in this title as he chases after Kano and his Black Dragon clan consisting of No-Face, Tasia, Tremor, and Jarek (Jarek appears in Mortal Kombat 4. Unfortunately, although the instructions indicate we’ll learn why Jax hates Kano, and more of Kano’s alliance with Shang Tsung during the course of the game, we never quite do – in fact the only time there’s any cinematics or storyline whatsoever is after you kill a boss and Jax begins to almost have phone sex with some bitch named Gemini.

Wasn’t she one of the American Gladiators?

Oh shit, that bitch has a dick.

Oh shit, that bitch has a dick.

Anyway, back to the deal: The bosses say or do nothing. One looks like Pudface from the Robocop TV series, another is a random sword-wielding woman, and the third is a brown ninja who looks so orange that you’ll mistake him for Scorpion every single time. The fourth is Jarek, of MK4 fame (or rather, SHAME). None of the four Black Dragon members give out or have any sort of backstory, meaning they’re just wasted character designs for the sake of being there, and why the hell is a Ninja part of Kano’s faction anyway? Laziness of character design at work here, people.

Above: Jax visits the school from Isaku.

Above: Jax visits the school from Isaku.

Although the controls are easier than MKM:SZ, the game itself is just boring as hell. You don’t even need to punch, kick, or fight your way through anyone because Jax also acquires machine guns, rocket launchers and sniper rifles and provided you have enough ammunition you can just mow everything and everyone down very easily. In fact the only challenge the game ever gives is in the final level, which is nothing but pitfalls that are hard to see because the entire game is so fucking dark. I like my challenge to come from the game, not from brightness and contrast.

HATECRIME, MOTHERFUCKA!

HATECRIME, MOTHERFUCKA!

After an hour of running around, grabbing keys, opening doors and shooting people, lather, rinse, repeat, you’re almost certain to lapse into a coma, if not begin to cry and contemplate why the fuck instead of enjoying your life on a Saturday night you’re at home alone, playing a videogame where the main character is JACKSON FUCKING BRIGGS WITH A STUPID GOATEE RUNNING AROUND SHOUTING "AWWWWW YEAH" LIKE THE GOD-DAMN KOOL-AID MAN, AND TALKING ABOUT WANTING TO FUCK THE ONE FEMALE BOSS IN THE GAME AFTER HE ALREADY SHOT HER SIX HUNDRED TIMES AND SHE’S BLEEDING EVERYWHERE, AND/OR FLIRTING WITH THE WOMAN TALKING TO HIM ON HIS COMMUNICATOR!!!

Sorry, I seem to have lost myself for a second. SHIT! FUCK! GOD DAMN IT! THIS GAME MAKES ME HATE LIFE!!! CHRIST!!! JESUSFUCK!!! I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, JOHN TOBIAS!!! HERPES! I WISH YOUR DICK GETS HERPES FOR THIS!!!

After playing this lackluster game I find myself borderline suicidal, and you will too. Make sure you have LOTS of Zoloft before you even ATTEMPT this title. Actually fuck that. NEVER attempt this title. Ever.

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