Arrow: Becoming the Next Ras Al-Ghul - A Pro vs. Con Approach!

Warning: The article below containers spoilers for Season 3 of Arrow, particularly episodes 15 and 16.  If you haven’t seen those episodes you may not want to go any further.

This season of Arrow and the feud between The Arrow and the League of Assassins took an interesting turn when Oliver Queen was given the offer of becoming the next Ras Al-Ghul, leader of the League of Assassins.  Although Oliver said “no thanks,” Ras Al-Ghul is not so easily deterred and is already taking steps to make sure that there is no other choice for everyone’s favorite green hooded vigilante.

However noble Oliver’s decision to refuse Ras Al-Ghul may seem, I don’t think the Arrow has actually stopped to really weigh pro vs. con when you get an offer such as the one Ras Al-Ghul has put on the table.  Here are some points that should definitely be thought about.

PRO – The Lazarus Pit

This is probably the best reason to take the offer of being Ras Al-Ghul.  The Lazarus Pits can extend your life, heal injuries and even bring people back from the dead.  Think about how awesome it would be to have a few thousand years or so to get everything done you want to do – all those unread books, unplayed videogames, unwatched TV shows and movies – suddenly watching Netflix all day and doing nothing at all doesn’t feel so bad; you have thousands of years to just chill!  Oliver could get caught up on the entirety of the five years he missed out on.  Plus you can revive the freshly dead, and with the Arrow’s bad luck with losing people that could be pretty useful.

CON – The Lazarus Pit Makes Some People Mentally Insane

Okay, so maybe the Lazarus Pit isn’t the best idea.  Maybe it’s up there with injecting a dying Slade Wilson with an untested Japanese miracle drug.  Maybe due to the fact that there are mental side effects that would turn you or anyone you throw in one of these pits to a psychopath, too.  But that’s a pretty big “maybe.” It might be worth the risk!

PRO – It’s a Pretty Big Promotion from “Vigilante.”

NOW OTHERS HAVE JOINED MY CRUSADE!

NOW OTHERS HAVE JOINED MY CRUSADE!

Being a vigilante is like being an employee.  Being RAS AL-GHUL is like being the District Manager.  You don’t really have to fight criminals on the street when you can just point and send trained killers anywhere on the map.  You can effectively “micro manage” crime.  It would be like running a company, just with less Ray Palmer stealing it out from under you. 

Ray_Palmer.png

That guy is a dick.

CON – There’s always a few bad eggs…

Malcom Merlyn was a League of Assassins member that went rogue.  Sara Lance went rogue, albeit for vastly less evil reasons.  If you’re one of those people that feels personally responsible for the people that work underneath you, which I assume you’d have to be in order to maintain the power base and prevent insubordination, you’re going to have to deal with dissention, and probably in a pretty lethal way that involves killing that person, their kids, their parents, their pet hamster, their 2nd cousins, and their mailman.  That could get a little messy. 

And what if they know Kevin Bacon?  Everyone is separated from that guy by like 6 degrees.  You’d pretty much have to wipe out the entire planet.

PRO – You Get to Chill With Nyssa Al-Ghul All Day

She is pretty damn hot.  Sure she’s violent, possibly a little crazy, and she talks like she came out of ancient Rome or something, but she’s the daughter of the previous Ras Al Ghul, not the current one should you choose to become Ras Al Ghul, which means it’s not technically incest.  Plus I’m not going to dance around this, those aggressive intense girls who like assassinating people are probably really, really good in bed.  You don't get the name "Daughter of the Demon" for nothing.  Sure, she’s into women, but she never said she wasn’t into men, plus you’d be her boss, and I don’t think the League of Assassins has sexual harassment laws.

CON – You Lose Felicity

Felicity, aside from being a pretty girl who also happens to have an adorably nerdy, quirky personality, is probably not going to go along with your plans to become Ras Al Ghul.  She probably won’t forgive you. She’d probably get even MORE attracted to Ray Palmer – but on the upside, you could have Ray Palmer killed. 

That guy is a dick.

PRO – You’re Rich!

You know they have to be ballin'.

You know they have to be ballin'.

The League of Assassins must be balling financially.  You can have anything you want.  Point at, it, send assassins to get it, it’s yours.  You get access to all sorts of weapons, all sorts of resources, including poisons, fear gasses, etc.  It’s like unlocking every weapon in the game.  For Oliver Queen this would be a major upgrade from “losing all your money and living on your sister’s couch.” 

CON – You’ve Living in the Middle of Some Cold Ass Miserable Place

Okay... we forgot to mention the atrocious amount of wind and snow, oh and the plants that produce fear toxins.

Okay... we forgot to mention the atrocious amount of wind and snow, oh and the plants that produce fear toxins.

O Let’s say you run out of milk at 2 a.m.  Being on top of a cold-ass miserable mountain would suck.  It’s not like there’s a Wal-Mart 5 minutes away from the Super Snowy Cold-Ass League of Assassins Headquarters.  That way of life isn’t really the type of life that’s going to have you living the life in Hawaii.  It’s cold.  It’s miserable.  Your electric bill to keep warm is probably awful.  Plus you have to assassinate all those rich white people that have nothing better to do than climb icy cold mountains in order to keep your organization on the down-low.   I bet getting wi-fi up there is a bitch – better call Felici-oh-wait-she’d be mad at you for becoming Ras Al-Ghul in the first place so that’s a no-go. Well... that… sucks.

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Guys like comedian Bread Foster would have to be executed every time they got to the top, which happens pretty much any time some white guy undergoing a mid-life crisis gets bored.  I bet Ras kills like 12 of these a month.

PRO – You Can Have Anyone Who Annoys You Killed.

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When you have an army of deadly assassins at your disposal, you can pretty much just snap your fingers and get rid of anyone – Kim Kardashian annoys you by existing? Make her go away!  Put money on a football game but worried the about the opposing team’s star quarterback?  Have a ninja put poison in his jock strap!  Some asshole unfollow you on Twitter? DEAD.  Girl rejects you for a date? DEAD. Guy beats you in a game of HALO on X-Box?  DEAD!  You can pretty much snap your fingers and have anyone DELETED from time and space!  And THAT is power.  If that’s not enough to convince you here are 6 words that should: “You can have Ray Palmer killed.”

Ray_Palmer.png

That guy is a dick.

CON – Other Superheroes Frown Upon That Shit.

While it’s awesome to have a “get rid of everyone” Gameshark code for life, it’ll just draw the attention of the likes of Batman, The Flash, Green Lantern and if you’re particularly unlucky, Superman himself.  I mean the entire Justice League would probably show up on your doorstep after a while.  But on the upside none of them really believe in killing, now do they?  They’d probably just ask you nicely to stop and by “nicely” I mean kick your ass about 50 times over.  On second thought maybe the “KILL ANYONE I DON’T LIKE” button isn’t a good idea after all…

In closing, it seems like the positives outweigh the negatives and like being the next Ras Al-Ghul would be the coolest thing ever, although I do wonder what happens to the previous Ras Al-Ghuls when they retire – do they go to Florida like all the other old people and hang around playing BINGO and reminiscing about the old days? Anyway, the choice would be obvious for me; I would totally become the next Ras Al-Ghul without hesitation – then again I don’t have Oliver Queen’s moral compass, or a soul, or a whole lot I’d be leaving behind.  Still, regardless of who you are or what your conscience might tell you, being Ras Al-Ghul sounds like a lot of fun.  Being the next Green Arrow on the other hand…

…seems like A LOT of hard work. Not to mention you probably have to sit around and slap water all the time for god-knows-how-long.  The choice is clear.  Put on the orgy robes and become Ras Al-Ghul!

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