It occurred to me this past week as we did episode 224 of Asked, that some people might be new to the show and not know the glory (or the horror) that is frequent Asked caller "Luke Hudson," the king of creeps who has become crazier and crazier with every time he calls in. Hudson, due to his appearances on Asked has also become cockier, more arrogant, and believes his delusions. However I felt this article from the JasonRivera.com archives needed to be brought forth so that newer listeners could understand the origins of one "Ugly Luke Hudson."
In case you’re not in wrestling circles Luke Hudson (formerly known on Twitter as @CelesteBoninFan) is a 24? (looks 34) year old man who has a fascination with former WWE Divas Champion, Kaitlyn (real name: Celeste Bonin), and mentions her multiple times a day every day confessing his love for her, telling people he and Kaitlyn should be together, threatening any guy that makes a comment about her being hot, harasses wrestlers she works with and generally makes himself a pain in the ass.
Yeah, thats perfectly rational behavior. That’ll definitely net you a woman... a woman’s foot in between your legs. You don’t have to be Kaitlyn to be inherently creeped out by what this guy is doing, either.
I mean take a look at her. Now take another look at him:
He looks like a herpes-infected ballsac grew a face.
Unfortunately for some reason poor Luke has decided his unhealthy, psychotic, and creepy fascination is more important than showering, washing his hair, or washing his face. Luke literally goes on for hours on end demanding Kaitlyn’s time, attention, and love. Now I am sure that in some screwed up alternate reality he could score her – I mean a lot of women these days actually DO date really ugly disgusting men.
However, being that he’s never interacted with her other than Twitter, the odds of Kaitlyn ever reciprocating this guy’s deluded “feelings” are smaller than subatomic particles. The WWE Diva has ignored him, so Luke does what any sane person would have done… starts harassing her friends, peers, and co-workers demanding they get Kaitlyn’s attention for him.
He even sent a tweet to K-Mart, the national department store chain asking them for help getting Kaitlyn’s attention. I didn’t know K-Mart sold true love. That’s news to me. Maybe people would actually shop at the place if they had that kind of power.
I bet you’re really proud of yourself you fat, Boglin-looking creep.
Eventually Kaitlyn blocked Luke Hudson after well over a year of tweets demanding that she love him and that his feelings be understood. Most normal people grow out of temper tantrums when they’re like... 6 years old. Luke again would do what any perfectly sane rational human being would do, and continued to tag Kaitlyn after being blocked, threaten to kill himself, harass other people demanding they tell Kaitlyn to unblock him. Hudson generally making an ass of himself while himself blocking and attacking anyone who refuses to help him (such as myself whom he holds some kind of vendetta against, although to be fair I have made fun of him for being a creep on multiple episodes of my podcast, Asked) – he even found someone as lame and delusional as him and sent them after me to “give me a talking to.”:
THIS is the type of guy that would be friends with a creep like Luke Hudson. They probably take turns riding the panel van. Yeah, that didn’t work out very well. I’m pretty good at verbal sparring and the assclown above couldn’t take it. Back to Luke, he continues without fail to demand Kaitlyn’s love and it’s obvious by this total package he has a mental condition but people have begun to question whether or not Luke Hudson is a real person. It’s pretty easy to take someone’s photos and claim they are you. Hell, MTV has an entire television show about it. Usually people want to be more attractive people – but who would go out of their way to be a fat unwashed slob with an obsession over a WWE Diva? Perhaps someone who is trolling the Internet? But how could anyone have that level of dedication and go on for so long? I will now delve into the backstory of the Ugly Luke Hudson and ultimately you will have to decide if he is real or a colossal joke (although if he’s real he is still a colossal joke and that’s just pathetic as I have never seen a bigger loser on the Internet in my entire life).
Still not sure someone smeared shit on his upper lip or if that is a mustache.
Now first of all… is getting this obsessed with anyone even POSSIBLE? One of my many pro wrestling guests on Asked explained to me that one of the reasons this happens is because people who already have a mental disassociation with reality end up hooked on Divas when they watch wrestling due to the fact in the (rare) moments Divas have promos they’re supposed to talk and make eye contact with the camera a certain way that makes it seem like they are staring right at you. These people with their mental problems then “imprint” on the Diva they are seeing on the screen and next thing you know you have 200 tweets a day from a guy with no neck.
Truth be told, Kaitlyn is a very attractive woman, and it’s perfectly normal to find her hot. I mean I'd tear that up. It’s not normal however to “be in love” with someone you’ve never met, never gotten to know, will probably never get to know on a personal level, or tag them on Twitter, then demand that everyone else FORCE them to acknowledge you. That’s just creepy and I have no respect for anyone that takes it to that level. I mean, what about escalation? Is Luke Hudson a threat to her safety?
First of all let’s find out if Luke is real and go to the foremost expert on such things, Facebook! Wow, isn’t this creepy? Luke has found the creepiest picture of Kaitlyn possible to make it feel like she is watching your every move. She might have a little Luke Hudson in her, herself. If Hudson is reading this “little Luke Hudson in her” just made him cream his nasty crusty underwear. I know this Luke Hudson account is ran by the real deal as he has crept on my Facebook and blocked me (on all three accounts labeled Jason Rivera).
The information on Facebook suggests that Hudson is from Armidale, New South Wales, and graduated from Armidale High in the year 2004. I don’t think this mathematically adds up to him being 24 years old. He graduated high school at 15? Call me crazy but I don’t think this guy is smart enough to do that.
His Facebook photos don’t show any friends, or family or anything other than photos of Kaitlyn, and of himself. This would indicate maybe he doesn’t have any friends or family, or maybe he is in fact fake and someone is using pictures of a retarded person they know in real life to create this character. However, the plot thickens when I find the following photo:
The Mun Hing Restaurant. Why the hell does Luke Hudson have a photo of a restaurant as a cover photo? A little working of the Google indicates that Mun Hing is a real place in Armidale where Hudson supposedly lives:
Mun Hing is Armidale’s “longest-established Chinese Restaurant” and by the looks of Luke Hudson he eats there 12 times a day with his fat ass. Located at 236 Beardy St., it can’t possibly be far from the actual Luke Hudson (if he is in fact a real person).
Another photo shows a random street. At the very least we know Luke Hudson DOES in fact go outside, which might spell trouble for poor Celeste Bonin the next time the WWE tours Australia.
I have no idea where this is because I am not Australian. However, I know there are many Australian readers and friends of the site, so I’m throwing it out there now: Find Luke Hudson, get photo and video footage he exists, and we’ll work something out. This is a bigger myth that needs to be proven or disproven than Bigfoot!
Speaking of WWE touring Australia that’s a drop in the bucket for the theory that Luke Hudson isn’t real. WWE has toured Australia multiple times and yet Hudson has never gone to or attempted to get close to Kaitlyn in person? While some could argue maybe he is of no threat, I beg to differ. If Hudson were real he’d have elevated his cyber-stalking into actual stalking by now and attempted to get close to Kaitlyn only to be hauled off by security. I actually hope and wish this happens as if authorities remove Hudson maybe they can get the guy some mental help, and don’t they hose patients down in a lot of those asylums?
Get this man a bar of soap and some water, pronto. I feel like I am getting a skin rash just looking at the creep. Anyway let’s continue on the path of Hudson-ness. Sadly Kaitlyn is not the first Diva Luke has stalked and she won’t be the last. I decided to do a Google search of Luke Hudson:
Well, THAT isn’t the Luke Hudson I am looking for. Side-note: wouldn’t it be awesome if Kaitlyn decided to find Luke Hudson the baseball player and date him instead? However when I add the Diva that Luke stalked prior to Kaitlyn, the search gets interesting:
That’s right, it’s former WWE Divas and TNA Knockouts Champion, former WWE Diva, Mickie James.
SouthernSuperstar16 on YouTube tells us the story that Luke Hudson did the EXACT SAME THING to Mickie James. As you hear the story, it’s eerie that it was the exact same thing that is happening right now with Kaitlyn. Luke is harassing everyone. At what point does this end? Will it ever end? People online are split between multiple groups: Those who think he’s a troll, those who think he needs help, and those who just wish he’d go away. If the guy offed himself it’d be considered sad for like a week but I don’t think anyone would find it a big loss.
I also find when people threaten to kill themselves on a daily basis and don’t actually do it that it’s disrespectful to anyone who has actually lost someone to suicide and thus Luke Hudson is in fact a total piece of shit as a human being. Nobody can deny the guy would be more productive to the earth as fertilizer for the grass and trees and plants. And sure you could all band together and report Luke’s account as spam and probably get Twitter to shut him down but that just means he’d make a new account where he’s NOT blocked by Kaitlyn and continue his ridiculous cycle. He already tried and has failed! I don’t know if Luke Hudson is real, or a troll. If he is real, he’s a creep. If he’s a troll, he’s a creep to have this level of dedication to this character he created. Either way I think everyone would be happy if the guy just fucked off. And if you live in the area Hudson allegedly lives and see him, don’t hesitate to call the men in white coats as this behavior, if it is real will escalate and he is a danger to himself and others. Until that day though, feel free to be entertained by the overwhelming stupidity of an unwashed psychopath and watch him continue to self-destruct.
You’ll never love Celeste Bonin like he can!!! Maybe she should invest in a can of mace instead of a can of paint. She’ll need it if this guy keeps going.
And if you’re wondering how and why I could be so cruel to bring this guy to the forefront it’s because of what he represents. He represents the worst stereotype of the male wrestling fan: he’s fat, he doesn’t bathe, and he is obsessed with a girl to an unhealthy, frightening level. This is what people assume anyone who has EVER watched even a remote bit of wrestling is underneath it all: a disgusting slob who should be put in a rubber room. It’s an insult to anybody who watches wrestling that has a functioning brain, a life, a career, or any number of things. Luke Hudson is the bad egg that spoils the bunch and that is why frankly he should fuck off so one more time if you’re in his area, find a nervous hospital that will take this guy out of the equation. For his own good, and for ours to get rid of another really nasty stereotype walking the earth.
Beerwah, where clearly people drink beer while pregnant with their children.