Recap: WWE NXT is Riv (August 21, 2014)

It’s time for NXT.  I probably should start watching these on Thursday nights now that TNA has moved. But I like to watch NXT at my own pace since it is taped.  Besides with various new projects on listentothisshow.com and hitbox.tv/jasonrivera I am swamped.  Then I have that thing called “real life” I have to take care of also.  Be sure to support my other projects as well by the way, and I graciously accept any help seeing as breaking even on the expense of doing them all would save me a world of stress.

After the WWE signature (now with new logo which is the only major change), we get our weekly NXT intro and the crowd chanting NXT loud as we are told that Triple H will have a major announcement on NXT tonight.  First, however, we are starting off with Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady who have advanced to the semi-final of the NXT Tag Team Tournament to decide who will challenge the Ascension for the titles.

Their intro spiel is still very much over with the NXT crowd.  HOW YOU DOIN’?  They are taking on the Vadevillains in this bracket.  The Vaudevillains STILL creep me out and they’ve been around a few months. 

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Aiden English has been feuding with Cassady (and to a lesser extent Amore) for what feels like a century.  Of course now he has the creepy mustached strongman with him, Simon Gotch, as well.  I feel like these guys go into shoe stores just to stare at women’s feet and get erections.  Oddly enough the match is brief.  Enzo and Cass rush the Vaudevillains, starting out offensive, but they manage to hit their finisher, That’s a Wrap, on Enzo before I even know what really happened. 

As Enzo and Cass leave the ring they are assaulted by the Gay French Men who want to give Enzo a haircut.

This makes sense that this team will feud.  Enzo and Cass hate people who are soft (or as they put it “SAWFT”) and the gay French men are the definition of that.  They don’t even shave Enzo’s hair, just his beard. 

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This is one of those times it’s actually a GOOD thing the Attitude Era has ended.  In the Attitude Era, Sylvester LeFort would be waving around a dildo and Enzo would have gotten a sore ass instead of his beard shaved. 

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I hope that since this is taped it’s before HHH went on his 9.99 rampage.  I’m sick of hearing 9.99.  In fact it’s worthless to say 9.99 on NXT because most people who are watching NXT are already paying 9.99 to watch NXT.  I heard a rumor that HHH thinks the reason people don’t buy the Network is because they are being cheap.  Well, Hunter, not everyone is rich.  If I had extra disposable income you think I’d be asking people who read my articles to donate a few bucks to my PayPal (jasonrivera@gmail.com by the way) in most of my articles?  Moreover, the problem with the Network is that unlike Netflix (which runs only two concurrent users on one account) I believe as long as you have a user name/password you can get into the WWE Network meaning people probably share their accounts.  It’s not that people are being cheap; it’s that they’re finding alternate means of acquiring what the Network has to offer.  Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Also all the 9.99 bullshit makes me want to cancel on principle.  There is such a thing as advertising too much.  Triple H announces that there is going to be another NXT Takeover and that all the NXT championships will be on the line.  NXT Takeover will be overseen by a new General Manager as well (which means JBL has been removed as General Manager if you are keeping score; not that JBL was on here very often to begin with).  He says the new GM will be revealed next week on NXT.

Tyler Breeze is not happy that Tyson Kidd involved himself in the title match between Breeze and Neville last week.  Also we’re all a little bit like Tyler Breeze now, looking into our phones all the time.  I blame WWE Supercard, though. 

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Am I the only one that thinks Kidd’s new entrance gear makes him look like he belongs in a Mortal Kombat game as some generic character people don’t pick very much?  Breeze is playing the tweener and taking on Kidd right now.  The crowd loves Breeze and loves to heckle Kidd.    Once Kidd starts getting some offense in, Breeze storms off pissed off claiming he “doesn’t need this,” and loses by countout.  Kidd doesn’t care because he’s won the match.  He also mocks Breeze by putting on his jacket momentarily and laying on the ropes.

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Oh, this match is going to be a little nuts.  We’ve got Sami Zayn and Adam Rose taking on Sin Cara and Kalisto.  The winners will go on to face the Vaudevillains.  First we get some Divas action. 

The NXT Women’s Champion, Ric Flair’s daughter, Charlotte, is in the ring to take on Becky Lynch who she fought a few weeks ago and had a pretty impressive match with. 

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Lynch’s “Bootleg Lita” gimmick is more interesting than her “do a stupid Irish jig” gimmick and makes me take her more seriously.  Charlotte takes Becky Lynch down early in the match but Becky I back up and tries to go for a quick pin while the crowd chants for her.  Becky begins to work on the leg of Charlotte.  A lot of back and forth begins.  I’ll admit Becky’s new style has a certain charisma to it, which is why it also worked so well for Lita back in the day.  It’s a decent match but ultimately Charlotte gets the victory – still, they’ve done a good job of keeping Lynch looking like a strong and viable addition to the division.  After the match we come back from break to Enzo and Cass making their way out a second time. 

Enzo says he is Smacktalker Skywalker and has a razor light saber for a French hater.  He tells LeFort to fall back like his hairline.  He says he wants a match at takeover with LeFort – a hair vs. hair match.  LeFort has a ton of hair and Enzo would look horrible bald.  Someone’s going to end up looking jacked up at Takeover in 3 weeks.  We are now reminded Bull Dempsey beat the crap out of Mojo Rawley last week.  We’re going to see Mojo in action next.

This is the best photo of Mojo’s entrance because you cannot see him.  What a horrible piece of crap.

His opponent is an even bigger piece of crap named Steve Cutler.  Mojo shows a more aggressive side… but he still uses the Whoopee Cushion as a finisher which negates any sort of aggressive side we see.  After the match Mojo gets the microphone to tell us that he STAYS HYPED.  Yeah, okay, whatever.  He says he’s still standing and he wants to take everything Bull Dempsey’s got.  The crowd chants a BULL chant.  He says if Bull Dempsey thinks all that there is to Mojo is a smile, the smile is gone and he’s about to find out all about HYPE.  I can’t wait until Bull Dempsey executes him.

Our tag team main event is next.

Kalisto and Sin Cara look like they could be main roster as a team and at least that way it would not be a total loss for the “Sin Cara character” that WWE has given up on.  Besides, Hunico is an excellent worker and has been with the company a long time so he deserves better than to be Sin Cara the Jobber.  It wasn’t HIS fault the character failed.  As much as I like Sami Zayn I hate his entrance.  I do enjoy Adam Rose’s entrance though.

Poor Adam Rose.  Everyone hated his debut on the main roster except for like four people so now he’s spending the majority of his time back here on NXT and when he’s not on NXT he’s selling products from WWE sponsors in ridiculous segments.  NXT’s audience LOVES Adam Rose, though.  After an incredibly enjoyable match Sin Cara and Kalisto make it to the finals.  I enjoy this.  I’m pulling for the Latino guys.  Not because of Latino bias but because it’s new and interesting and I don’t feel the Vaudevillains really need the belts.  Plus they creep me the hell out. I am wondering at what point Sami Zayn goes from “just a guy on NXT” to one of THE top guys on NXT.  I feel like he’s been lost in the shuffle ever since last year’s Takeover when he had arguably one of the best wrestling matches of the year with Cesaro.

I blame his crappy entrance.  But in all seriousness I want to see him get back on top.  Let’s see where the finals of the NXT Tag Tournament take us next week.  Until then I’m out.  I have things like cooking, cleaning and videogame streaming that must get handled.