Dear Society: Aaron Paul Is Not a "Bad-Ass." Please Stop.

It’s probably as good a time as any while I have some time to myself to do some writing since I haven’t written anything new in a good while; most of my work has been either recapping wrestling or posting articles from the JasonRivera.com archives.  However, as I watch the television and see commercials for movies I had to write an article on something that just doesn’t strike me as convincing, and that is the Need For Speed movie, mainly because it seems to be marketing Breaking Bad star Aaron Paul as some kind of “badass” and oddly enough people all over social networking seem to be buying into this.

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The plot of the Need For Speed movie (courtesy of the IMDB website) reads as follows: Fresh from prison, a street racer who was framed by a wealthy business associate joins a cross country race with revenge in mind. His ex-partner, learning of the plan, places a massive bounty on his head as the race begins.  I can’t help but read a plot like that, then look at the trailers and commercials and be completely unconvinced to see this film – and here are some of the reasons the movie has very little appeal to me, and also lowers my faith in society. 

Above: Aaron Paul demonstrates how big everyone seems to think his penis is ever since Breaking Bad became "THE" television show.

Above: Aaron Paul demonstrates how big everyone seems to think his penis is ever since Breaking Bad became "THE" television show.

For starters, I have nothing against Aaron Paul personally or as an actor.  He’s very effective at playing the sidekick or playing the toady as he has proven in roles such as Last House on the Left.  But people loved Breaking Bad so much that for some reason they gloss over the fact that Jesse Pinkman, the character Aaron Paul played, was NOT a bad-ass.  I watched all 5 seasons of Breaking Bad and deduced that generally Pinkman was a whiny sniveling bitch, who over-used and over-said the word “BITCH” for emphasis and generally spent most of the episodes of the show being an emotional wreck, smoking his own product and being a crybaby.  There is really nothing that screams “tough” or “BAMF” about this guy at all.  He’s 90 lbs. soaking wet.  That’s saying something.    I’m trying to figure out at what point people decided Aaron Paul is “badass” and why we’ve gone from guys like this THIS:

One look at Steve Austin says: "Don't f*** with this guy."

One look at Steve Austin says: "Don't f*** with this guy."

To guys like THIS:

The stupid  expressions  that Aaron Paul seems to do every time a camera sees him doesn't help his case for trying to be bad-ass.

The stupid  expressions  that Aaron Paul seems to do every time a camera sees him doesn't help his case for trying to be bad-ass.

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Breaking Bad: The Final Season
$27.99
Starring Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, Anna Gunn, Betsy Brandt, Bob Odenkirk

It doesn’t add up to me at all.  If it adds up to you, then feel free to buy some Breaking Bad stuff on Amazon on the link above so that at least I can get paid for my confusion.  Are we so lacking in strong, assertive males as a society that we have to put over skinny dweebs?  I have seen people with full-blown AIDS who are more intimidating and convincing than Aaron Paul.  Or is it that we as a society are doing it to make the influx of weak, effeminate, crybaby men feel better about themselves?  When I read a plot that says “street racer fresh out of prison,” I can’t help but think there’s no way any character Aaron Paul plays could seem like a hardened ex-criminal mainly because a guy like that would get corn-hold in prison every single day unless he put on weight and started lifting for the role he is in.  Ultimately however, it doesn’t matter – as Need For Speed when it boils down to it at the end of a day is a movie based on a videogame, and that historically that doesn’t go very well (although there have been a few exceptions).  To me it just seems like an attempt to make a new car/street race franchise in hopes that the lack of Paul Walker means no more Fast & the Furious movies.

Paul Walker thought driving nice cars made him bad-ass too.  Look how that turned out.

Paul Walker thought driving nice cars made him bad-ass too.  Look how that turned out.

But at least that film franchise has guys like Vin Diesel and the Rock who actually look the part of “tough guy.”  Ultimately, I think society loved Breaking Bad so much that they were brainwashed into thinking that liking something automatically makes it a reality.  Maybe I just wish I could roll back the clock to a time where “badasses” were all about action instead of rolling up into the fetal position and crying for 6-7 episodes before performing an action that could be considered “moderate at best.”

I’ll be writing more about my curiosities about “when did the world get wimpy” soon – including questioning at what point all our heroes became crybabies and all our villains became “emotionally complex victims of circumstance who aren’t really all that bad as long as they are somewhat attractive.”  In the meantime, society, you need to make a U-turn, and fast.