Recap: WWE NXT Arrival (February 27th, 2014)

I guess it’s time to see what the big fuss is about with NXT Arrival – the first of the NXT specials and a tool which WWE has used to try to place importance on the WWE Network with.  I do not personally have the Network because I actually do things like “leave the house” and “like girls” unlike most wrestling fans. Will I get the Network?  Eventually, I likely will – the fact that I can watch “Pay-Per-Views” on a 55 inch HD screen is worth it to me.  But I’m going to be at Wrestlemania 30 and I don’t see a need to invest in this here & now, not to mention there have been all sorts of bugs and glitches.  I’m also hoping by that time that wrestling fans are no longer full-retard about it and will stop live-tweeting every single thing they watch on the Network.  News flash: nobody cares.

Now that the rant is over, it’s time for NXT Arrival.  I took a break from recapping Monday Night RAW this week because the Network Zombies made me need a break from wrestling and to be fair I’ve also put in tons of work here on this website over the past couple of weeks and I didn’t have anything left in the tank to recap the show.  I was initially not going to recap Arrival but considering that I found a download, I might as well.

Aliens are here to take Bo Dallas back to his home planet.

Aliens are here to take Bo Dallas back to his home planet.

Some sort of laser show seems to be opening up NXT - that – or the arena is about to be abducted by aliens.  We need more aliens in wrestling.  It’s Triple H who asks if we’re ready while in the dark. 

Not enough long hair, Motorhead, or water.

Not enough long hair, Motorhead, or water.

I don’t think I will ever be used to Wilson Tennis Ball Head Hearst Helmsley.  THIS. IS. N. X. T!  A loud NXT chant accompanies this as HHH tells us the next generation has arrived.  A new intro accompanies NXT and I’m fine with that because it’s not some mellow rap song which accompanies most WWE programming.  We kick off with Tom Phillips welcoming us to the NXT Arena and Sami Zayn making his way to the ring for his match with Cesaro.

Seth Rogen's stunt double, Sami Zayn is here for action!

Seth Rogen's stunt double, Sami Zayn is here for action!

Sami Zayn seems to have new gear for the occasion.  Little touches like that are always a plus when you have something which is supposed to be “important” as NXT Arrival is supposed to be. 

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Phillips is also joined by Byron Saxton and William Regal.  This NXT commentary team is pretty solid. They’ll probably get even more so if we get the almost-weekly “Renee Young is here to commentate Divas matches just because” segment - by solid if Renee comes out I mean they will all get boners.  The crowd is amazingly into NXT.  The NXT audience is usually loud to begin with but these people are pretty much on fire tonight.  I’m not sure if they are legitimately roaring or if the WWE studios have amplified the sound in an already “typically loud” audience.

Cesaro is the next man out.  This is smart on WWE’s part – give us two guys that are going to work their asses off in the ring before you bog us down with boring guys like Rusev, Graves, and Bo.  William Regal says Cesaro is ten times the man & wrestler Regal ever was.  Just the stare-down, the two competitors locking eyes across the ring sets the tone.  Cesaro shoves Sami Zayn down, over-powering him.  Dueling WE THE PEOPLE and SAMI ZAYN chants are heard by the crowd as Cesaro performs a takedown to the mat.  Headlock takedown by Cesaro and Zayn repays the favor.  Cesaro regains control with a dropkick.  Cesaro quickly goes for the knee of Sami Zayn which Zayn blocks.  Cesaro tries to counter with a back-bodydrop but Zayn lands on his feet and tries to get some offense in and almost gets Neutralized.  Lots of countering and back and forth action as Zayn is able to fight Cesaro into the outside and follows with a senton to the outside onto the former U.S. Champion.  Zayn goes for a cross-body off the top rope once the action resumes but is caught and mid-air and hit with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.  Cesaro goes for the cover.  2 count and Zayn rolls outside to regain his composure.  Cesaro pursues and starts to toss Zayn into the security wall before depositing him back into the ring and throwing him through the second rope on the other side.  Zayn gets his head slammed on the steel steps and Cesaro begins working him over outside the ring. At the count of 7, Cesaro puts Zayn back in the ring… and tosses him back out to restart the count.  The crowd tries to rally behind Zayn with the “OLE” chant.  Cesaro slams Zayn on the side of the ring outside and follows him back into the ring… and BACK to the outside.  Cesaro’s only purpose in tossing Sami Zayn back into the ring is to restart the count so he can continue to beat on him outside the ring where he is systematically dismantling the man.  Finally Zayn manages to kick Cesaro off of him and rushes Cesaro from the outside only to get hit with the uppercut in mid-air, causing a loud holy shit chant, and causing Zayn to teeter along the bottom rope.  Cesaro can now continue to destroy Sami Zayn by systematically targeting the knee, stomping on it and twisting the leg on the mat.  Zayn uses his good knee and leg to try to kick Cesaro off him but Cesaro double-stomps the bad leg.  Cesaro hits a dragon screw leg whip to the bad leg as well and once again twists it, wearing it down. 

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Usually I never play-by-play these things but this match is actually solid – moreso than what we are accustomed to on RAW, Smackdown OR on Pay-Per-Views and I can’t help but mention the offense I am seeing.  Zayn again tries to use his good leg to fight out.  Finally with a knee to the midsection of Cesaro and a dropkick, Sami Zayn has bought himself some time but Cesaro is back up and kicks the leg out from under Zayn, grinding his boot into the knee.  WE… THE PEOPLE!  I love the fact that despite the fact Cesaro is supposed to be a mega-heel the crowd loves it.  He could perform a lynching on R-truth, physically deport Rey Mysterio, toss Paul Heyman in a gas chamber, and still be over with the audience.

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Cesaro drops Zayn with two more Dragon Screw Leg Whips.  When Cesaro tries to go to the well a third time, Zayn tries to hit an enzuigiri on Cesaro who ducks and locks in a single leg crab.  That just LOOKS painful – but fortunately for Sami Zayn it’s a bit close to the bottom rope.  Zayn manages to grab the bottom rope and pulls himself to his feet.  The now-overconfident Cesaro grants Zayn the time to get to his feet.  Zayn kicks him with the good leg, and then tosses Cesaro to the outside.  Hobbling aroud now, Sami Zayn tries to do a sit-out moonsault only to be hiptossed out of it onto the ramp outside.  At the count of 9, Zayn rolls back into the ring.  At this point, Cesaro pretty much has this won – or does he?  Sami Zayn hits an exploder suplex INTO the turnbuckle which does tremendous damage to Cesaro and gives him a chance to pin the Real American.  However, he only puts him down for 2.  Cesaro now gets hit with a Blue Thunder Bomb but again is able to kick out of the pinfall attempt.  STO into a Koji Clutch but Cesaro now reverses into a Brock Lock style move.  Sami tries to get to the ropes yet again and after a long stretch makes it.  Cesaro goes for the Cesaro Swing but Zayn manages to roll him up.  Cesaro is back up and this time find the swing.  Zayn’s arms flair in the air like a retarded child who has just had his McDonald’s Happy Meal stolen from him.  Running Cesaro European Uppercut in the corner and Zayn kicks out.  Cesaro now double-stomps Zayn’s head.  Zayn kicks out.  Now the match goes to the corner where Cesaro is trying to finish Sami Zayn off.  Both men end up on the top turnbuckle.  Sami Zayn goes for a moonsault and manages to thwart the counter of Cesaro and find it anyway then follows with a running kick in the corner.  Sami Zayn now goes for the cover but Cesaro just won’t stay down.  It’s naptime for both men and the race to see who is going to get to their feet first.  Cesaro lifts Sami Zayn up, hits the uppercut and demands Zayn stays down.  Zayn refuses and Cesaro knocks Zayn to the ground with a second uppercut.  A third uppercut is delivered in the same fashion.

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If this gets any more uncomfortable, Cesaro is going to yell STAND YOUR GROUND and shoot Sami Zayn the next time he stands up.  A fourth uppercut does not take Sami Zayn to the mat but fires him up and he begins exchanging blows with Cesaro. Out of nowhere Sami Zayn is possessed by the Demonic Spirit of Chris Benoit and throws a German Suplex.  Cesaro has had enough and boots Zayn in the face, ready to follow with the Neutralizer but is rolled-up.  Zayn almost gets the 3 count. Cesaro is then hit with the Canadian Destroyer and Zayn gets another 2 count.  Both men are trying to get up.  Cesaro hits the Swiss Death but Zayn kicks out at 1.  Cesaro is enraged and hits a running spinning uppercut that looks like something out of one of the Punch-Out games, then immediately follows with the Neutralizer. Finally Cesaro gets the 3 count.  I’m glad there was only ONE Neutralizer with no Zayn kick-out.  Makes the finisher look more valuable.  What a match.  These guys made it look like Wrestlemania out here.  WE… THE PEOPLE.  Cesaro rolls back into the ring after the match while the crowd chants for a “HUG IT OUT.”  Exactly that happens as Cesaro helps Sami Zayn back to his feet and then leaves the ring.  Crowd eats it up.  It’s rare you have that kind of break of character on a televised show.  Good stuff.  Crowd chants for Sami and hits the “Ole Ole Ole” chant as well. 

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Mojo Rawley promo video hits. I hate this guy. Aside from not being a fan of what he does in the ring, he just has that kiss ass aura about him on Social Networking that makes you think he’d eat the turds from DeMott’s toilet after a full day of eating nothing but Taco Bell.  Maybe I’m just not into the concept of “hype” because people hype themselves up for literally ANYTHING these days. 

The reason so many Florida Men are homicidal?

The reason so many Florida Men are homicidal?

The Mayor of Orange County, Florida is a very ugly woman.  I wonder if this is why Florida Men commit so many weird crimes. After WWE points out her and the President of Full Sail University they follow up with giving us a bathroom break as CJ Parker comes out here.

They should market toilets that play CJ Parker's entrance theme every time you flush them.

They should market toilets that play CJ Parker's entrance theme every time you flush them.

I can’t be too hard on CJ Parker because he’s turned heel, and somehow his ridiculous hippie gimmick works better as an annoying villain.  I wish WWE would have taken it a step further and mocked the occupy protestors who are the annoying scum of the earth.  Regal makes this better by saying he wants to clap CJ Parker in the mouth.  Parker is fighting Mojo Rawley which pretty much confirms this is a bathroom break.  Adding to my “Mojo Rawley is a kiss ass” theory is the fact he has the same haircut and facial hair as current-day Triple H.  Basically Mojo’s gimmick is being a crack-cocaine addict as he is always running, moving, and SHOUTING.  Plus you can’t spell “HYPE” without saying “HIGH.”  Also, every time Mojo wrestles I leave.  What’s “HIGH” without “I?”  “HGH.”  And I’m pretty sure Mojo is on enough HGH to kill a small elephant.  After Mojo squashes Parker I return. 

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Emma is backstage stretching.  I would give her one hell of a stretch.  Tonight she takes on Paige for the NXT Women’s Title.  Paige has been out for what feels like 100 years with an injury, hasn’t been on to cut promos (she’s not really all that good on the microphone anyway; she’s more of a “talk by fighting” type), and has basically been unable to build this match at all.  Still it should be interesting to see NXT’s two most popular Divas lock up.  We get a promo to introduce Emma to us and it makes me think that maybe WWE should have waited until after Arrival to debut Emma on television so that the crowd would actually take to her.  Speaking of the Emma promo video:

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I wonder how many times Asked with Riv & Landin have caused former NXT Diva/former FCW Women’s Champion Audrey Marie to have the exact same reaction.  Be sure to find out more about that in our Interview with Audrey Marie, available RIGHT HERE. This follows with an Ascension promotional video.  I would normally be annoyed at the influx of promotional videos one after the other back to back to back but WWE is trying to introduce these characters to people who may not normally watch NXT.

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The Ascension is out here and has a new entrance theme which was sorely needed as to establish this is a difference Ascension from the original form which had Kenneth Cameron instead of Rick Victor/Viktor Rise/whatever-the-hell-his-name-is-supposed-to-be.  Apparently we are having an impromptu NXT Tag Team Title match.  Konnor and Viktor seem to be digging their new entrance.  They look more convincing than they do on standard NXT.

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This is just a nice shot to accent the fact they are the tag champions.  They have a mystery opponent tonight because Bill DeMott ran out of random bums to give 1-night NXT contracts to. Judging by the random “SAWFT” shouts in the crowd it means the audience wants it to be Enzo Amore (currently injured) and Colin Cassady.  However, they get a big surprise when Scotty 2 Hotty and Grandmaster Sexay, Too Cool come out.

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The crowd reacts for these guys and I react for wondering when Scotty 2 Hotty shaved his head to become the world’s first Dancing Penis.  Brian Lawler actually looks less bloated tonight than he did at Old School RAW.  This is essentially a commercial for the WWE Network because the commentators can plug that if for some reason you don’t know who these guys are you can watch their entire career on the WWE Network.  Viktor begins chopping the crap out of GMS and tosses him into the corner where Konnor is tagged in.  Big legdrop across the sternum of GMS and a cover but GMS manages to kick out.  Konnor is pretty much destroying GMS and runs him over with a shoulderblock or two.  This is sort of a slow match and the novelty of Too Cool is wearing down quickly due to the fact GMS has been sitting on his ass pretty much the whole match.  Finally GMS hits a stunner to get Viktor off him and tag Scotty 2 Hotty who begins chopping everybody, including Konnor who isn’t the legal man.  Scotty takes Viktor off his feet and raises the roof.  Scotty manages to kick Viktor in the face in the corner and fire out.  Viktor sends Scott back into the corner but this time Scotty ducks under Viktor’s charge, face-plants him and sets up the W-O-R-M but Viktor trips Scotty before he can deliver the chop, dumps GMS to the outside and hits a falling clothesline on Scotty, tags Konnor and sets him up for the Fall of Man.  That’s the end of Scotty as the Ascension retain their tag titles.  Too Cool even about 10-15 years Too Late are better than the average guys the Ascension fights on here.  Hopefully it means the caliber of opponents for these guys will continue so that we can take them seriously.

My favorite white person.

My favorite white person.

A Paige promo video is up next, which is good because other than the Internet nerds, WWE is definitely going to have to remind us who Paige is, because even to those who watch NXT they may not remember considering that she hasn’t been on TV in God-knows-how-long.  Paige is probably my favorite albino.  Paige sounds more competent in this taped promo and I am hoping that means all this time she’s been gone has meant that she has worked on her microphone skills which I believe is the only thing stopping her from coming up to the main roster.

Charlotte left her penis at home today.

Charlotte left her penis at home today.

Here you see Charlotte with her legendary father Ric and she’s actually looking like a female which leads to my belief that the person who portrays Charlotte most nights is not Ashley Flair but David Flair while Ashley stays home or does nothing.  If she looked like that all the time she might actually be doable. It’s time for the NXT Women’s Championship and I wonder if showing Charlotte before the match means she’s next in line.

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Stephanie McMahon with the new title of “Principal Owner of WWE” above her name is on the way to the ring.  I guess we’re getting just a little closer to phasing Vince McMahon out of this thing.  I guess Stephanie, a former WWE Women’s Champion (yes that happened, YOU CAN LOOK IT UP ON THE NETWORK), is out here to introduce the Divas.  I mean after all, she was also the one to make the initial NXT Women’s Title announcement.  The crowd chants “YOU STILL GOT IT” at Stephanie and by that they mean “she can get it” and by “it” we mean “THE DICK.”  Stephanie stops her promo almost before it starts to remind the crowd “I never lost it.”  I’m pretty sure as much as I like Steph I have to disagree.  She lost it… on 3 separate occasions.  It’s called pregnancy and I am just glad I didn’t have to see her that way so that I can pretend that all 3 children were created in a laboratory instead of crawled out of her vagina.  Stephanie explains what being a WWE Diva is all about including doing “everything the men can do only better.”  Confirmed: At least one Diva has strapped it on and railed Stephanie harder than Hunter ever did.

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The challenger, Emma, is the first Diva out. Emma is actually very good at what she does: she’s got a great gimmick compete with infectious entrance music, the bubble machine is a nice touch, she’s good looking, she has this sort of “I sound stoned” voice that somewhat makes her promos more entertaining, she can go in the ring, and she has the crowd (at least the NXT one) behind her.  I really hope that her debut on main television wasn’t premature as the RAW crowds seem DEAD for her which is a shame and which I blame solely on a rush-job debut.

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William Regal doing the Emma Dance is probably one of the greatest things I’ve seen William Regal do, and that’s saying A LOT considering William Regal is a legend in this business and future Hall of Famer.  The commentators remind us that Emma has defeated both Natalya and Alicia Fox, both former Divas Champions.  Paige has also been given a new entrance theme, a new t-shirt, but the same pale Wednesday Addams look that kind of works well for her.

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Paige is definitely talented.  The Anti-Diva’s theme, Stars In the Night is apparently available on iTunes.  Or you can just click the video below which I saved you the leg work of finding:

I think Paige has this title retention in the bag, not just because she’s talented but because Emma has already been pushed ahead of Paige in the pecking order since she’s already been called up.  This means Paige is going to be down here on NXT a while longer and she might as well still be the champion while she does that not to mention this is her first match back from an injury.  These two are not shaking hands or hugging but they are flat out brawling and cat-fighting.  Tom Phillips tries to claim these two respect each other and Byron tries to disagree that respect is the key word here.  These two were at odds before Paige’s injury so I agree with Saxton.  There are a lot of reversals and pinfall attempts here.  There is so much girl-on-girl action I think I’m watching a BRAZZERS video. Dueling chants for both women begin.  Although both are fan favorites the commentators somewhat treat Paige as if she is the heel.  The match goes into resthold mode during this time.  Paige backs Emma into the corner and delivers back elbows and begins choking Emma with her boot on the bottom turnbuckle.  Emma catches the leg and sweeps it, however.  Emma now tries to rush Paige with the Emma Sandwhich.  Paige counters, but Emma rolls through and tries to counter into the Emma Lock but is kicked off of the champion.  Paige locks Emma up in the ropes and delivers repeated knees to the upper body. The Women’s Champion gets tripped by Emma again on the apron.  Emma drags Paige into the ring and goes for a cover – kickout at 1.  Paige charges Emma in the corner but Emma sidesteps and locks the Dil-Emma in, then hits the Emma Sandwich Crossbody.  Cover and a 2 count.  The dueling chants begin again at this point.  The girls are getting more time than most Divas matches and quite a bit more physical.  Can we really consider being called up to RAW or Smackdown an improvement when they’re only going to get 45 second long matches and lose to the Total Divas cast every week?  Summer Rae, who is on the NXT roster, has been cast for Total Divas Season 2 which probably means that both Paige and Emma will job to her for the remainder of the year after this.  Being on Total Divas is the equivalent of attaining the Infinity Gauntlet in Marvel Comics.

What is this funny feeling I am getting in my pants while watching this match, Dad? IT'S CALLED PUBERTY, SON!

What is this funny feeling I am getting in my pants while watching this match, Dad?

IT'S CALLED PUBERTY, SON!

Not sure if this is erotic or if I’m just a sick bastard.  Emma eventually releases this Erotica Lock and goes for a cover to only get a 2.  Emma now tosses Paige down by her head and hair and begins choking her on the bottom turnbuckle and stomping on her as well, giving Paige a measure of retribution for the start of the match.  Counter-after-counter in the corner but Paige decks Emma and then tries to shove her head into the turnbuckle across the way.  It’s Emma reversing this now and climbing the turnbuckles.  Paige halts her progress and the two ladies fight for control. 

WOOD.

WOOD.

I wonder how many horny nerds want to be Emma right now.  I admit even I popped a bit of a boner at this screenshot.  I bet if you put your ear to Paige’s vagina at the top of the hour you can hear Big Ben gonging.  Paige gets power-bombed and Emma goes for a cover to which the champion kicks out at the very last second.  Both girls are down.  Emma begins striking Paige in the face demanding she give up but Paige clotheslines Emma then kicks her harshly and hits the Paige Turner but Emma kicks out of the finisher.  William Regal and Byron Saxton remark that no Diva has EVER kicked out of Paige’s finisher.  See?  This is a good point to throw out a “kick out” of someone’s finisher. 

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Paige now goes for a new method to try to finish Emma, which resembles some kind of reverse Sharpshooter with Paige adding her hands pressing down on the back.  Now it’s the Horny Nerds’ turn to envy Paige.  I think that if I did that move to Emma there are laws against it. Paige hooks both of Emma’s arms and William Regal explains the movie is the Scorpion Crushlock.  Paige retains her championship.  Hell of a match.  I’m not used to saying that of the women of the WWE.

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We’ve already seen one show of respect with Cesaro and Sami Zayn. Now we get two as Paige wants to shake Emma’s hand after the match.  Paige reels her in for a hug and the crowd approves. We go backstage where Adrian Neville is preparing for the NXT Title Ladder Match against Bo Dallas by doing push-ups.  It’s time for another promotional video to introduce Adrian Neville. 

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Apparently Robocop is scanning Adrian Neville for known weaknesses.  SPOILER: there are none.  I wonder if Neville will be getting a new theme as well since he’s been coming out to Jobber Theme 2 since his time tagging with Corey “I am AIDS” Graves.  Neville is at an advantage in a ladder match because nobody can fly higher and he is the Man That Gravity Forgot.

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Tonight Neville will try to take the championship away from the man who turns more Asian than I do during a smile, Bo Dallas.  The spoilers that came out for NXT for the next month after tonight have Bo Dallas still wearing the NXT Championship title so it’s not looking good for Neville to take the belt.  In fact I’m relatively sure Dallas is going to retain.  Could you imagine the nerd rage if Bo Dallas beats Neville in a Ladder Match?  It won’t be pretty.  Bo is growing on me because so many people loathe him.  We hit a commercial for NXT itself.  The show is moving to Thursday nights LIVE at 9 to attempt to be the nail in TNA’s coffin.  Hopefully it won’t be though since competition is good for business. 

Proof homosexuality has been trendy for the past 300 years.

Proof homosexuality has been trendy for the past 300 years.

Pat Patterson and Dusty Rhodes star in Brokeback Mountain 2!  Available in the Gay Aisle!

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Xavier Woods is out here next.  I was thrown for a loop for a second due to “Funk Is On A Roll” playing.  I keep forgetting that Xavier Woods apparently won custody of Brodus Clay’s entrance theme for no apparent discernable reason whatsoever; like he couldn’t just use R-Truth’s since they’re a tag team?  Plus the guy had his own entrance theme anyway.  Xavier Woods’ opponent tonight is his boyfriend/roommate Tyler Breeze.  I heard this match is going on because Xavier Woods accidentally overwrote Tyler Breezes Grand Theft Auto V save file on the copy of Grand Theft Auto V some sad nerd bought Audrey Marie on her Amazon Wishlist.  How do I know these things?  I just know.

Not an Ambi-turner.

Not an Ambi-turner.

I admit as much as Breeze’s lack of wrestling moves can be annoying he has probably one of the absolute best entrances of anyone on NXT and somehow his Zoolander rip-off gimmick is actually funny.  I wonder if he listens to Asked with Riv & Landin on the same iPhone he takes selfies with and hears all the times we make fun of him on the show.  God, I hope so.  Hopefully he is less sensitive than most of the roster.  I am hoping since this is NXT Arrival that Breeze remembers he has an actual move-set and uses it.

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I’ll give Breeze this. The man never fails to find a good photo-op.  I just realized that right before this match we saw Dusty Rhodes and Pat Patterson.  Now suddenly the fact the old homosexuals were shown before this bout makes total sense.  I guess Tyler Breeze throwing an actual move is not to be because Alexander “Mega Slob” Rusev’s entrance theme hits and he bumbles his way out here to kill them both. 

I gained 7 pounds just looking at him.

I gained 7 pounds just looking at him.

I can’t take Rusev seriously because he’s built like Fred Flinstone.  They might as well have given him and Lana the car that you use your feet instead of a wheel in.  Do you guys know what LANA backwards is?  I wonder if Rusev has ever given Lana “reverse Lana.” I hope not.

I am pretty sure that if Rusev mounted a man this way in his native Bulgaria they would have Rusev executed. Can we send him back?

I am pretty sure that if Rusev mounted a man this way in his native Bulgaria they would have Rusev executed. Can we send him back?

When Rusev puts Xavier Woods in this position, it is still a win for the two old homosexuals watching.  Lana demands that the people of America rise for Rusev.  I’ll rise… and go take a dump in the bathroom which is my typical response to Rusev.  I wish Rusev would hurry up and go on maternity leave so he can give birth to whatever is in his stomach and go away.

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What a hideous creature Bo Dallas is.  He demands some water and then demands the person bring him a glass because he does not drink out of bottles.  He also takes this promo video time to insist it is not “NO MORE BO” but “KNOW MORE BO” because the people want to know more about him.  Bo Dallas is the longest-reigning NXT Champion of all time.  Longer than Seth Rollins. Longer than Big E. 

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It looks like Shawn Michaels, one of the great pioneers of the Ladder Match itself will be coming out here to put the title belt in the air where it belongs.  The Shawn promo feels like it is running long mostly because he keeps getting distracted by the crowd’s many chants at him.  He hits the shameless plug for his new Blu-Ray/DVD, the Mr. Wrestlemania DVD. 

By the way if you purchase it right here through Amazon we get money so if you’re GOING to buy a DVD/Blu-Ray/whatever do it here and make me a few extra dollars so I can keep doing this recapping thing, keep doing this podcasting thing and keep bringing you the hits.

Shawn Michaels: Mr. WrestleMania [Blu-ray]
$24.96
Starring Shawn Michaels
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Neville does in fact have a brand new entrance and Titantron as he makes his way to the ring. If we don’t see the Red Arrow off the top of a ladder I will be sad. It is now time for the opposition… and for me to throw a video up of Asked with Riv & Landin Mascot Erik Martinez’ favorite entrance theme ever (because I get it stuck in his head every time I do an NXT recap):

I admit the seething hatred of Bo Dallas by 99.9% of people living on the planet Earth makes me enjoy him just a little more.  I should hate Bo because he blows.  But the sad irony is that Bo blows so much he’s actually good.  It’s not like Graves or Rusev who make me get up and walk away.  The crowd chants “Pochahontas” at Bo Dallas.  As the champion and challenger stare down the title is raised into the air and this match will begin.  Bo immediately tries to retreat and grab a ladder but Neville isn’t going to make it easy and begins kicking away at Dallas.  Neville moves with the kind of speed that makes you think your stream is skipping and fast forwarding itself.  Bo Dallas delivers repeated standing elbows into the face of Neville.  A clothesline by Bo Dallas drops Neville to the mat.  Bo Dallas hangs Neville upside down with his knee caught in the rope to buy him enough time to grab a ladder.  Neville is free by the time Bo returns to ringside so a baseball slide dropkick causes Bo Dallas to eat some ladder.  He won’t be smiling for any more miles after that.  Neville springboards himself to the outside, dropping Bo and now taking time to put the ladder in the ring Bo did the favor of bringing him at ringside.  Neville turns his attention to Dallas but is whipped into the steel ring steps.  Bo Dallas is now beating the crap out of Neville on the outside while William Regal points out that Bo Dallas suffered a split kidney some time ago that would have ended anyone else’s career – even Bo Dallas’ kidneys hate him!  Meanwhile Bo is grabbing a second ladder, this one to use as a weapon.  He almost vaults it into the face of Neville who just narrowly evades being decapitated.  Neville counters with a back body drop to the NXT ramp.  The referee even tends to Dallas to make sure he’s not dead.  Neville is setting up the ladder and making the climb but Bo Dallas throws the 2nd ladder at Neville, knocking him and the 1st ladder over.  Dallas is now delivering ladder shots to the midsection of Adrian Neville.  The crowd is not satisfied with just ladders and begins a WE WANT TABLES chant.  Bo Dallas makes his way to the top of a ladder.  He’s almost at the title with Nevile trapped underneath but Neville manages to use his legs and feet to prop the ladder off him and send Bo spiraling back to the mat.  Neville now tries to climb and capture the belt but now it’s Bo’s turn to make Neville take a fall.  Both men are down, both ladders are down.  The two men are back up having a tug of war over a ladder but Bo is the winner of that particular exchange and shoves Neville hard into the corner with force.  Bo now props the ladder in the corner while the crowd continues their POCHAHONTAS chant.  Neville is about to be tossed by Bo but springs to his feet and hits a Tornado DDT using the cornered ladder to springboard with.  Once again the Man Who Gravity Forgot takes the climb but Dallas is back up and these two are firing away.  Bo shoves Neville who hits the ladder, falls down, then has a ladder fall on him.  Bo is still worn from the exchange and not quite on his feet.  Both men are back up and Bo hits a short clothesline to Neville in the corner, followed by a second short clothesline.  Bo tries to bulldog Neville on a ladder but Neville shoves him into the cornered ladder and quickly rushes to try to get the 2nd ladder back into a standing position.  Dallas is stirring in the corner and Neville is quickly trying to get to the championship title but Bo springs up and the two men begin fighting atop the ladder.  Bo pulls all of Neville’s weight into the ladder so that his head hits the top of it repeatedly and both men fight down.  Neville manages to kick and punch Bo off of him and takes a moment to go for the Red Arrow off the top turnbuckle but Dallas realizes what is going on, springs back up and shoves Neville to the outside of the ring.  Neville manages to get up and hop from the rope outside of the ring to the ladder ABOVE Dallas.  Dallas tries to spring back up and dump Neville off with a German Suplex.  Neville hits repeated elbows to knock Bo down but Bo holds on, catches Neville and powerbombs him into the ladder which is still in the corner.  That ladder in the corner has to be made of Adamantium to stay in perfect position despite all the offense these guys have gotten on it.  Bo rushes Neville in the corner but gets slammed onto the second ladder, propped on the second ladder, and hit with the Red Arrow while laying on top of the ladder.  That took something out of Neville as well, but it made the crowd go insane and they start a massive NXT chant.  Bo Dallas rolls all the way to the outside of the ring while Neville props the ladder up and rushes to the top of it.  Bo rushes in at the last second but it’s too late and Neville has captured the NXT Championship Title.

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I’ll tell you this – WWE pulled the wool over our eyes with the month of NXT tapings.  Maybe they’re just going to cut any of the footage which implies Bo is still the champion, and that’s alright with me.  This was an impressive showing for NXT and had an energy that we would have to hope every NXT episode going forward has.  NXT Arrival delivered and is a must-see for anyone that wants to see a solid product where the WWE actually has all their ducks in a row.  Other than Rusev being an annoying slob and Mojo Rawley vs. CJ Parker stinking up the place, every single thing on this show was solid and every single match was worth the time and trouble.  While you’re at it, you might want to check out the WWE Shop on the banner at the end of this recap and pick up some of the new NXT merchandise.  We come to a close with John Cena in a suit.

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That’s a big deal because it proves that Cena is capable of dressing like something other than an 8 year old boy.  Good night everybody!