"She is living proof that retards love wrestling." --Johnny Landin.
I probably could actually just leave the above two screenshots and one quote on their own as proof that the staff of this site had discovered the most retarded person on earth, but for an article more than 5 years in the making, that would just be a complete jip to the millions and millions of readers out there, so let’s elaborate, shall we?
Tammy is lonely creepy old lady who wants to meet wrestlers to have sexual relationships with them, (Yes even Jeff Hardy).
Tammy was discovered by former JasonRivera.com staff member Mike Espen sometime in 2006. If you're familiar with his Fat Pat and Scary Mary articles, then you know that Mike Espen had a knack for finding the stupidest people on earth and humiliating them with the profiles of fake wrestlers. Espen is no longer here, and presumed dead, murdered by smothering between Fat Pat's fat cheeks. I mourn his loss constantly, much like Professor Charles Xavier mourns the dead X-Man Thunderbird. Fortunately Nick Billington, of our forums does the exact same thing and is also British, so much like Xavier replaced Thunderbird with Warpath, we’ve done the same, although Espen has slightly nicer teeth than Billington.
Espen, using fake MySpace profiles of WWE wrestlers Charlie Haas and Randy Orton, seduced Tammy into a false love triangle with the two, which involved her sending many letters, MySpace messages and even naked photographs. Because I never want to see them again, the naked photos are lost to the mists of time, fortunately for all of us - because my penis has never worked the same since Espen showed them to me.
Even beyond Espen's actions, former staffer, Shank, even convinced Tammy that he was her new lover, Don "Chichi" Rodriguez, who was actually nothing more than a photo of late actor Raul Julia, best known for his roles as Gomez Aadams and M. Bison in the 1990s (this also had a MySpace profile). This went as far as Don dying and coming back from the dead because he was really in witness protection (all of which Tammy whole-heartedly believed and even dedicated her answering machine greeting message to - yes, an actual answering machine, as Tammy does not have "voicemail.") Ultimately this all led to Shank acquiring Tammy's passwords and putting up the lovely captions you see here on her MySpace Photos:
As much as I dislike Mr. Shank on a personal level, I can admit THAT was funny. I can almost forgive him for screwing my girlfriend - well... not really. But that happened many years ago so I'm indifferent now, especially since she did the exact same thing to him he did to me with some nerd she met on World of Warcraft, but that is another story for another day.
The culmination of this entire thing was an Interview over the telephone via Skype performed by our very own The Crust (also known to some as @CrankyRiv). Keep in mind all this stuff is years and years old, and Tammy's current whereabouts and status are completely unknown to us. Espen had insisted we hold off until he handled this whole thing personally, but since he is apparently dead we honor his memory by publishing this, his last work. The entire interview The Crust held with Tammy can be listened to by clicking the media player below: