Took me a long while to write the Asked Aftermath for this show – truth be told writing doesn’t come as easily to me as it used to be. Sometimes I want to write volumes. Other times I don’t want to write let alone get out of bed. I think I described getting older to one of my Twitter followers as “you need twice as much sleep to get half as much done.” Motivation seems to decrease the older you get, and looking at the old people in my life is living proof of that. But that’s neither here nor there, the subject matter of the most recent episode of Asked with Riv and Landin didn’t exactly help my motivations.
We interviewed former pornographic actress turned wrestling personality/model/actress/video jockey, Jasmin St. Claire. Now I hardly ever book the guests for the show and leave that to more capable hands. I just think Johnny, and his personal assistant/October employee of the month Bazman have a better head for it than I do not to mention for some reason people typically feel naturally uneasy/wary/hostile when it comes to me. When Jasmin St. Claire was booked I sort of took an “oh okay” thought to it, as while I know she was popular once upon a time for taking a lot of dick, what has she really done lately? Still we figured she might be a decent guest and well… you can judge for yourself by clicking the episode below.
It's always a bad sign when the guest doesn't trust us enough to NOT mask her phone number when she calls into the show. Johnny and I had a feeling this would be rough when Jasmin’s publicist said “no questions about her porn career.” Keep in mind this is a woman who got famous off of the world’s largest gangbang, so demanding we avoid the pornography questions is akin to having James Hettfield from Metallica on and being told “you can’t talk about his music career.” Okay, then what would be the point? Anyone who thinks we would just “avoid” the topic because we’re “not in the know” doesn’t know us well at all! We were specifically instructed not to talk about porn and we figured that Jasmin would still provide us with something seeing as she’s been a part of so many other different projects.
…it turned into a 30 minute commercial for her upcoming movie. I think Johnny fell asleep during the interview since he’s working double shifts. I know I chugged at least 3 beers and was silent mainly because of the fact she was boring me to death until towards the end of the interview where Krispin, occasional third chair, and resident Geist of the Asked podcast called and decided to ask her questions about whether or not she’s ever had to manually stimulate a man through his personal mayday button located in his ass. Jasmin was a little more animated with crazy callers, although to be honest I was highly offended she demanded we hang up on a guy who claimed he was an outer space alien. Wow, that’s cold. What if he was right? What if life on other planets was trying to contact us? What if these alien creatures had technology that could cure things like cancer, and make our world a better place? What if we flushed that all down the toilet because some pretentious arrogant former slut decided “HANG UP ON HIM; I DON’T LIKE BEING TROLLED?” The world may never know. Then again Jasmin kind of looks like an alien in some ways from the planet “Uptight-1” located in the “Y (Why?)” quadrant.
Jasmin insisted she had a fun time. She was the only one. It’s kind of like when you have bad sex and just want it to be over but the other person seemed to enjoy it oblivious to the fact they were not good at it. Fortunately we did salvage the show with a lot of topics both before and after Jasmin appeared. We had dirt sheet trivia between three wrestling podcast co-hosts to start the show and after Jasmin left we stayed on the air an extra 30-40 minutes as our means of apologizing for those who had to endure her. While we never want to have a podcast that goes over two hours, this time we really didn’t have much of a choice because we wanted the episode to not be a total loss for us, and I think we’re charismatic enough that we don’t always need an episode with a guest.
Hopefully this week’s guest will be a lot more interesting than last week’s – Doron the Minion, a man who is viral on the Internet for photos of him sex with Ashley Jordan while eating a can of corn. A man who performs on theminion.com located on the Dogfart network and does very crazy, tripped out things involving food and hygiene during his scenes. I personally booked the Minion to do our show, in fact…
…which is why Landin and Bazman are in charge of booking guests and I’m not.