We open up NXT with Bo Dallas in a party hat. I immediately regret this decision to recap it. Bo says in a gay voice that there is “no place like home.” He says if you’ve been keeping up with the Bo Dallas Newsletters he’s been on a world tour.
Bo Dallas is living proof that even if you have down syndrome you can get a job in the WWE. JBLs entrance theme hits as the current interim General Manager of NXT makes his way to the ring. JBL explains that Bo Dallas is a wonderful international ambassador and JBL is proud that he is the face of NXT. Sami Zayn interrupts this make-out session because WWE only knows how to run “authority angles” in 2013.
JBL reminds Zayn that he is suspended and he is disrespecting the office of the GM and the NXT champion. Zayn requests to be unsuspended so he can take the belt off that “cheeseball” Bo Dallas. JBL says that despite Sami being disrespectful at the moment he has to do what is best for business and reinstate Sami Zayn. Bo reminds Zayn he has already been defeated in a title match. Zayn says he will work his way back up if he has to. JBL says that there is going to be a beat the clock challenge to decide the new number 1 contender of NXT. Sami will be a part of that challenge tonight.
Collin Cassady starts off the challenge minus Enzo Amore who is injured… and it looks like he’s right back to jobbing to Alexander Rusev.
Lana has made that slob Rusev wash his face and comb his hair. He still looks like a walking pile of dung to me though. Rusev has stopped breaking boards with his opponent’s name on them, possibly because he can’t actually spell the names correctly. Beat the Clock is such a no-win situation if it’s a guy you don’t like wrestling – on one hand I want Rusev off my screen as quickly as possible. On the other hand if he wins quickly he becomes the number one contender. Cassady has no chance of winning. He didn’t even get mic time in his intro without Enzo. They do make Cassady seem like he can put up somewhat of a fight against Rusev this time at least. Rusev locks in his finisher sloppily and Cassady manages to make it to the ropes and slip out of the move. Cassady fights back a while longer but the second time Rusev locks in his finisher it ends at 5:33. That is five minutes and thirty-three seconds too many of Alexander Rusev.
We are told up next Kassius Ohno is in Beat the Clock against Tyler Breeze. I guess Ohno did have one more match after Luke Harper and before leaving the WWE. I think the only reason this is happening is because Ohno was Landin’s favorite developmental talent and Breeze is Landin’s nemesis. Good one, Coach Bill! ROLF!
This is Devin Taylor. She is new here. I want to dip my balls in her.
Adrian Neville looks like he wants to dip his balls in her too. He’s being interviewed about the concussion he gave Corey Graves last week in their best 2 out of 3 falls matchup. I wish she had said “coma” instead of concussion because Graves is horrible. I notice Neville is trying to speak slower and more clearly because usually his accent is thick and difficult to understand. He says that Corey Graves tried to take him out as well and this isn’t ballet but he is focused on the beat-the-clock challenge tonight and his opponent… AIDEN ENGLISH. That’s by far going to be probably the most amusing match of the night in this beat-the-clock challenge.
Sometimes I’m not sure if Bayley is a women’s wrestler or a future video on Exploited Babysitters with the way she looks and acts. She is being interviewed about Charlotte turning on her last week in a tag match to join Lay Cool 2: Direct to Video Edition. Bayley doesn’t understand because her and Charlotte were like Spongebob and Patrick or Tommy and Chucky. Bayley said she met Flair’s Dad (I wonder if he’s been balls deep in her) and they she taught Charlotte to Pogo Stick (if that’s not an innuendo I don’t know what is) and that they used to do the robot together.
It’s time for this Canadian blonde woman to continue to take away everything Johnny Landin loves.
I can’t believe Ohno’s final moments will be losing to a guy that does nothing but throw kicks. William Regal says that Tyler Breeze needs to stop sauntering around and take Kassius Ohno seriously. The often Pro-Breeze crowd chants for OHNO almost unanimously which should be a testament to his popularity. Breeze cheap-shots Ohno and immediately goes for pin fall attempts. Meanwhile the commentators argue because Alex Riley wants to know why Byron only talks to Regal about “wrestling expertise.” Regal responds with its 30 years and 44 countries of experience vs. 200 matches and carrying The Miz’s bags. Nice one, Mr. Regal. I do laugh that Byron acts as if he’s never been a wrestler before. Kasssius gets kicked to the outside and Breeze goes to retrieve Ohno much to the dismay of Regal who says Breeze is an idiot for not letting Ohno just get counted out. Finally Breeze hits a vertical suplex which might be the first time he’s done something other than punches and kicks. Dueling chants for both Ohno and Breeze break out in the crowd. Breeze goes for his rolling wheel kick but Ohno ducks and begins to fire back up. He catches Breeze’s leg after he goes for a kick, and they begin attempting to roll each other up back and forth and Kassius wins the War of the Roll-Ups to advance in this tournament. The time to beat is now 4:48 by Ohno and William Regal puts over how this is a great comeback for Kassius Ohno on NXT…
…it’s ridiculous they let dropped this guy from his contract. Our next match plays almost immediately and oddly enough Aiden English didn’t get his entrance on NXT this week. THAT is blasphemy. It’s weird to see Aiden go back down to “job guy level” in this match against Neville instead of as an equal quality competitor. Aiden English does manage to get a moderate advantage mid-way through the match, though. Neville turns it around, drops English and goes high risk but Aiden immediately retreats. Time is running out with both men on the top rope and 10 seconds left. With 10 seconds left Neville hits the Red Arrow and beats Kassius Ohno’s time by 3 seconds. 4:45 is the new time to beat.
Sami Zayn’s opponent in the final Beat The Clock Challenge is Leo Kruger.
In between the Ascension says they hate Mexican people – not in those words but they are calling out Hunico and Camacho, the greatest team to never get air time. The Ascension is accepting Hunico and Camacho’s challenge but I don’t remember a challenge ever being laid out.
Kruger is out here to his full entrance. He amuses me because he looks like a creepy human trafficker guy. The big down-side to Kruger is he’s very plain in the ring. Fun-fact: Leo Kruger broke Sami Zayn’s nose during a match at Wrestlemania Axxess this past year. Before the match, Bo Dallas decides he wants a closer look at what is going on and sits on the ramp. Match is very fast paced but Zayn gets the pinfall RIGHT at the exact same time as Adrian Neville’s victory. This makes JBL work his way to the ring and says he’d love to blame this on John Cone, the referee but instead he’s going to put Sami Zayn one on one against Adrian Neville and the following week the winner of that match will take on Bo Dallas. That’s going to be a solid match on NXT. I would hope for a Triple Threat but this will do just as well. Not a bad episode of NXT – far less painful than many of the episodes have been in previous weeks. Still easier to watch than RAW. If you're tired of the main roster give this a shot now and then. Sometimes it does surprise you.