As many of you may know we moved Asked with Riv and Landin from its comfortable Wednesdays at 10:30 PM time-slot to the hideousness of Sunday nights due to scheduling conflicts with real life. If only you would pay us either by buying products from Amazon linked throughout this site (once you go to Amazon through our link as long as you buy ANYTHING else you search for once there we still get a little bit in our account), or sending us donations via the donations page, we could live comfortably off of your charity and do nothing but do nothing but the Asked Podcast in a perfect world. In a perfect world there are also women in thongs with big asses taking turns fellating me. The world is not a perfect world and we have to make money somehow, although we thank all of you who have and who donate and continue to donate money to keep this going (and potentially provide us with new options for bringing you the show or bringing it to you in eve better quality). Again I assure you none of the money goes into our pockets although if you want to give us $500 to fund Riv and Landin’s Wrestlemania 30 appearance, please by all means I won’t stop you. Also if you’re into advertising and marketing and want to help us find effective ways to monetize our program, feel free to get at us. We are always looking for new ideas and options to reach more people and attain self-sustenance for the show.
Anyway we had to move to Sundays and to be honest the experience has been awful. I feel like Sunday is the Asked with Riv and Landin version of the Vietnam war: a battle nobody actually wins and that will leave me enfeebled with neurological problems for years to come. Fortunately things are sorted out and effective December 4th 2013 we will be back on Wednesdays starting at 10 PM EST, and typically we will run a 2 hour show on guest days/90 minutes without guests. And we are so glad to be off of Wednesdays you would not believe. So I’m going to now discuss reasons I hate doing live shows on Sunday.
For starters Sunday is the day of the Sabbath, and while I am not religious I feel like Jesus is listening to us make poor taste jokes about sex, retarded people, stupid idiots, and dissing everything. I’m glad I do this show indoors because if I didn’t I’d have been struck by lighting about 12 times. Jesus weeps on Asked, which is like TEN TIMES worse than a golden shower... not that I would know or anything.
Then there is the sheer amount of television we have had to contend with. I feel like Johnny Landin and I are two of the more amusing charismatic people on the planet. However we are not marketed by the Social Media Hive Mind. We market ourselves, but because we’re not “the biggest thing on the planet” (even though we should be) we have had to deal with Breaking Bad, the Walking Dead, the stupid show that comes on after the Walking Dead that TALKS about the Walking Dead, and possibly the worst of the bunch, Total Divas.
The fact that there are MEN that are willing to watch a WWE show that isn’t about wrestling but about the drama of the Bella Twins being catty bitches on the road makes me ill. I mean aren’t you the same people that sit here and claim you don’t want to watch them wrestle? Why would you want them to bicker and argue and whine and complain? If they were doing it without any clothing on, fine. But this show isn’t even spank material and every single one of you should be ashamed of yourselves that you are part of the “WWE Machine.”
I can’t wait until Total Rusev becomes a reality television show. It will be one hour of a constipated fat sloppy Alexander Rusev on the toilet making potato farts while trying to take a dump and you guys will watch it, live tweet it it, and say it is great. You should really be listening to Johnny and I every week talk about what’s wrong with the world, making jokes about it, and try to figure out how to fix it!
Obviously WWE Pay-Per-Views also put us in a compromising position and our move was right in the middle of that awkward time of year where WWE puts on 3 Pay-Per-Views in a six week period that have almost the exact same card as the previous one. It is unfortunate that most of our audience are also wrestling fans …moreso since all of you complain about wrestling yet devote 110% attention to something you hate. You can devote 50% instead and listen to us with the rest of it.
Then of course there is football. I’ve never been a big sports guy and probably never will be but due to the fact football is like religion to some of you we’ve also got to compete with over-paid, over-worshiped guys with moderate to severe brain damage that get to have sex with 15 women a night and have 22 or more illegitimate kids (we have covered many stories about football players who do on Asked). I wish I had decided to take up football in my youth because the lesson learned is no matter how big of a scumbag you are or how much horrible shit you do in life all of it can be forgiven as long as you can run a ball from point A to point B.
And finally there’s the fact we share a network with FIVE other shows (soon to be SEVEN other shows – check them all out on The Card Subject To Change network on blogtalkradio.com/CSTC) and while we’d like to think we all have a good working relationship since we are the dirty scummy guys who don’t wipe our feet before walking in the door it’s not THAT good that they won’t think about taking our sacred spot and the longer we go without Wednesdays, the more appealing moving to Wednesdays gets to everyone else and I for one do not expect to be stranded on Sundays forever. We’d be trapped like Zordon from Power Rangers in that giant glass thing.
Being trapped in a giant glass tube is one of those things that’s dope as long as you’re not the one actually INSIDE the tube. Anyway back to my point – I am glad to be done with Sundays. I am glad to be back to being the Highlight of your Wednesday nights, a night where virtually nothing happens and the competition is slim. You pretty much have no choice but to listen to us now. And you should. And you should tell all your friends. And you should download the show every week when you can’t be there live and if you’re female, legal and attractive you should send Landin and I Baseball Cards (Nudes). I am glad to finally be back on the day where we belong, Wednesday nights starting December 4th. But maybe I am too hard on Sunday nights. Maybe Sundays weren’t all bad. That’s where you come in. What was YOUR favorite Sunday Asked moment? What do you think about us moving back to Wednesday nights? Are you glad? We want YOU to tell us YOUR opinions. Below this blog is something called a “comments” section and we want you all to stop being silent assholes and actually comment. So tell us what you’re thinking. We want to know… so that Johnny and I can privately make fun of you for it on AOL Instant Messenger. Yes we ARE the only two people who still use it.